online dating

Life goes on so they say. I have been forced to push through all the bullshit and continue living. Like I said in my previous entry, I revamped my online profile on the dating site and I listed everything I could possibly think of that I like in a woman and all the interests I have. I also listed all the specific things I don't like. I was hoping that if I did that I would only attract the kind of girls that I really like. I still have been getting some messages from girls that after I talk to them a bit, I realize that they are not my type at all. I have been having some success though. I went through and did a meticulous search of all the girls on the dating site and I sent out a lot of messages. It has been a while now since I sent those out and the way I see it, the messages I have got from them is all I am going to get. So what I am doing is keeping my eye on the new users. You can see all the new girls that have joined the site in the last 24 hours and send them messages. I like to message the new girls because I think they are more likely to respond than girls that have been on the site for a month or so and have been getting lots of messages on a regular basis.

I have been having pretty good success since I started this daily messaging thing. You do have to send out quite a few messages just to get a couple back but that is understandable. They are very picky. You know what I find funny? Everyone says that they are really picky... yeah duh everyone is picky, especially when it comes to relationships etc. Anyways, I am actively talking to about 6 different girls right now and they all seem to be different personality types which I think is a good thing because it is allowing me to see the differences between then and formulate what kind of personality I like the most. I am an equal opportunity dater lol. I have manged to go out on a couple of dates but let me tell you about the last date that I went on because it went quite well. I met this girl named Katie and she is a really sweet girl. She is 22 and she is in business school still finishing up her MBA. You are probably picturing this classy mature woman but really she is super immature in one moment and then outspoken and refined in another moment. I guess she reminds me a bit of myself.

I met her at this coffee shop called Mama Java's Coffee House. It was pretty cool and chill inside, a bit funky like most coffee houses. I had a mocha like I always get and she ordered a latte. I never understand why people order lattes I mean they are nothing but coffee with milk. She is really cute and we sat and talked about stuff for a very long time. It was only 2pm when we met but the next thing I knew I looked at my watch... well the clock on my cell phone I mean because I don't actually wear a watch but I want a nice one don't get me wrong. I asked her if she wanted to continue this date by going and grabbing some dinner. She said sure so we went outside and grabbed a taxi and went to this place called Rosie McCaffrey's Irish Pub. I wasn't going to take her to a nice restaurant because neither of us were dressed for it so we went to this pub, ordered a pitcher of beer and some food. I had a really good time drinking and eating with her. Next thing we knew it was nearly midnight so we got out of there and hopped in a taxi and headed to her place to drop her off. I was really hoping she was going to invite me upstairs and when we got there, she did exactly that. I was really nervous as we rode the elevator up to her apartment and I was thinking how can I make my move on her when she grabbed me and missed me. We fooled around on her couch for a few hours then I took a taxi home. It was a great night and I have been chatting with her everyday since then. She wants to get together again this weekend.

I am not sure really where to begin. First of all let me start by apologizing for letting almost 2 months go by without a blog entry here. My family in Sweden were in a car accident. They were hit by a drunk driver and in the process, my mother was killed and my father has been permanently hospitalized. My younger brother broke his leg and his wrist and has some damage to the skin on several parts of his body. I had to fly back to Sweden to be with them and provide support to my father. I can't believe that she is gone. My whole life got flipped upside down with one phone call. I canceled my membership to the online dating site because I knew I was going to be away for a while and I wasn't really in the mood to be talking to any women etc. My job said I could take a leave of absence no problem. I emailed the girls I had been talking to etc telling them what happened etc and that I would be gone for a while. They were all very understanding and I haven't heard from them since.

I have been back in Phoenix for a week now but I really wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself etc but I realized this morning that what my mom would want for me is for me to be happy and I know I need to have a woman in my life to be happy so I decided I would get up off my ass and do what I need to do to make that happen. I decided I would rejoin the online dating site and get myself back out there. When I am done with this blog entry I am going to join the site again and I am going to start fresh. None of the girls I was talking to before were really the ideal kind of woman I want. I am going to look through the dating site at all the new girls that have joined the site I was last looking at it. I know that a lot of new people join the site every week so there will definitely be lots of girls to choose from since it has been almost 60 days.

When I do my online profile this time I am going to write something different than last time. I am going to make my profile very very detailed. The way I see it, I owe it to myself to be as honest as possible about what kind of girl I want in my life. The thing is, I am not really sure what kind of girl I want in my life and I am going to need to spend some time tonight thinking long and hard about this. I am going to list all my likes and dislikes and I know that I am probably going to scare away some potentially hot girl but without doing this I will probably end up with in a relationship that will not last very long and eventually fall apart.

Things are getting better. I had a great time this weekend. I played poker all weekend and I won $1200 so I am totally happy and now I have money to spend on some girls

I am also happy to report that I am talking 6 different girls right now actively. I have messaged much more than that and I have got messages from much more than that but after a few messages back and forth there are only 6 girls left that I feel like talking to and I am getting the same vibe from them. I mean that is how it goes when you meet someone, you exchange pleasantries, you feel each other out and if you are intrigued or captivated it usually happens within the first couple of days or messages. You really never can tell if you are going to hit it off with someone or if you are going to like the way they talk etc.

Two of the girls I like that I am talking to I am actually talking to on msn now so I am totally happy about that fact because usually the first step is to get them from the online dating site message system over to an instant messenger like msn or something. If you are really gangsta then you can take from the online dating site right to the phone, but this is for elite ubers only One of the girls is named Varity which means truth and I believe this girl when she says things to me so I guess that means she stays true to her name which is how most hippy girls are anyways. So yeah she is 21 and she is like big time obsessed with the 60's and hippies. Both of her parents were big time hippies and so she became a hippy child. Yes her parents are very old now but they used her dad's sperm and a surrogate mother to have her. She is cool to talk to and is very philosophical and she is really hot and has long blond hair. I can only imagine what she would be like in bed. I am trying to setup a date with her but I have no freakin clue where I could take a girl like this. Certainly not to a fine dining restaurant. Maybe I can find a bar that plays 60's music or something although they may just play late 60's rock and I am not even sure if that is the kind of music she likes. I highly doubt I could ever have a relationship with this girl but that is not my motivation for talking to her

The other girl is named Nina and she is from Italy. She is 25 years old and she moved here 3 years ago from Italy to work for an import export company that deals with Italian stuff. She is obviously totally different and I would have no problem taking this girl to a nice restaurant and drinking some nice bottles of wine. In fact I think that is exactly what this girl would like to do for a first date. She doesn't seem like she is as open minded a Varity but I am only referring to how she would be about life in general. When it comes to being open minded in bed I have learned that it is impossible to tell this until you get to that point. Hard to prejudge this characteristic and I am often surprised how slutty looking chicks are actually close minded and prudish and classy stuffy women can be the most openly sexual girls I have ever met. I am working hard on her and getting closer to the point where I can ask her to go on a date with me for dinner. I hope she accepts now before I go back to the casino and lose my poker winnings :s

Last week I went out with Theresa just like I had planned. We chatted a bit first and then I recommended that we get together for coffee then go for a walk somewhere nice. She agreed and we met at the coffee bar around 3pm and the sun was still shining. I grabbed a regular large coffee and made i double double and she ordered a mocha flappa something or other. I dunno exactly what it is, but let's just say it was chocolatly and premium

We strolled through the city and ended up in this cool little park. It was a little windy and the breeze was blowing her hair around so she kept brushing it away and the whole time I was thinking is this a legitimate brush away or is this an indicator of interest. When you are engaging a woman, if she brushes her hair aside, that is an indicator of interest. It means she is interested in you and is physically attracted enough to sleep with you. That is right, women make the decision whether or not they would have sex with you within the first 6 seconds of seeing you. Men don't think of this shit too often because most men would bang most women. It really has to take a lot for a man to be not willing to have sex with a woman. Men are very different to women in this way, but as a man it is cool to know if a woman is attracted to you or not and all you need to do is be perceptive of their "tells" and you will go a long way.

Simply knowing that the woman is attracted to you is just the beginning. Attraction is common. Beauty is common. I am certainly no expert in this field but I have observed many things from many sources and most of it is true and is turning out to be beneficial in my life helping me get what I want and also help me understand myself and the motivation of others. People are all very different yet very similar on many levels if that makes any sense.

I am getting off on a rant here but the bottom line is that I didn't feel the right chemistry with Theresa. There were things about her that were irritating and things I could tell I could not tolerate. Also she seemed a bit shy and prudeish and I don't think she would be very good in bed or be very open minded. I won't be talking to her again.

I have turned my sights to the various other girls that have messaged me since I joined the online dating site and I noticed there is a few cool looking girls in there. I have realized that it is very hard to judge how someone is going to be simply by looking at their online profile. This is why I want to meet lots of girls and see what I like and what I don't like. I think I am going to be surprised by the findings of this. I think I am going to find things I like in women that I had no idea I was attracted to.

There are a couple of cute girls that have sent me messages but I can clearly tell they are the type of girl that is getting a lot of messages from a lot of guys and unless I do something to make myself stand out she won't even notice me and probably doesn't remember me unless I messaged her in the last 24 hours. So if I want to get anywhere with these girls I need to make my presence known and I need to demonstrate higher value somehow. This is all a work in progress.

Happy new year to all my readers from north america and from Sweden also! My parents came down and we had a pretty good time on xmas and the new years eve. They gave me lots of gifts which was nice. I am so glad that I had all that time off because I had been working really long days and trying to make a good impression at the company I work for. I think I did a pretty good job and hopefully soon I will be able to get a promotion. I know I haven't been there very long but my manager is named Lars and he is from Sweden too so he likes me and thinks that I have potential so I am very happy about that fact and so are my wonderful parents.

I went out with that girl Theresa before the new year. We met at a bar and had drinks and she introduced me to a few of her friends both girls and guys. They are a pretty cool bunch of people. Not big party people, they are very intellectual and socially conscience so there was a lot of talk about politics and what not. I spent much of that time just listening because obviously I am new to the USA and I don't know much about the politics here but I was able to share with them about how Sweden is and they all appreciated my insight on how things are done in another country different than the United States.

I was having a hard time flirting with Theresa because there were so many people in our group and there was a lot of intense discussion going on and not a lot of playful activity. I wanted to take her to another part of the bar and be alone with her so we could talk more and it could feel like more of a date but I was too scared to ask cuz she seemed to be listening so intently to what her friends were saying all the time. She was one of those people that listens really hard and nods up and down when you talk etc. It was cute but at the same time I could see how this type of behavior could get really irritating really fast.

Towards the end of the night I did get a chance to talk to her a bit one on one but by that time the vibe was slipping. I was pretty confused by the whole evening. I was wondering what was wrong with this girl. I think she is very guarded and that is why she invited me on a date with a group of people so that she had a cushion to deal with and didn't have to be alone with me and answer pointed questions etc. It is a shame because she is a good looking bookworm type of girl and she has a lot of potential but not with all that shyness and being so guarded.

I never got a chance to hold her hand of kiss her so I was like blah this sucks and we parted ways and I didn't bother to send her any messages because I thought she wasn't interested but she just sent me a message today asking me why I never messaged her and I was like wtf. So I asked her what happened and she said that she had a good time and that I was a nice guy and she thought I was cute. I asked her why she seemed so distant then and she said it is because the last guy she was with was an asshole and broke her heart and cheated on her etc so I was like ok. So I told her I will go out with her again but this time it has to be just the two of us and we need to go somewhere quiet so we can chat and stuff.

Wow Phoenix is so much different than Oslo. The girls here are much more forward than in Sweden. I have been talking to a lot of girls online and 3 of them already want to meet me and have me take them out for dinner. I don't really have much money so maybe they will be into me cooking some food for them and watching a movie or something.

There are a lot of great movies I have not seen yet that I have been meaning to see. I might be able to take some girls to some inexpensive places like Ticoz Resto-bar. I need to see if District 9 is out on DVD yet because I really want to see that movie. The last good movie I saw was called "Rise of the Footsoldier" which was an awesome UK gangster movie.

So back to the girls, you don't want to hear about movies lol. There is one girl I have been chatting with named Melissa. She is very American if there is such a thing. I am kind of intimidated by how forward she is. She is one of these very bubbly outgoing girls who has lots of friends and lots of pics of her with her friends out partying. I think nothing but good things could come from hanging out with her. At minimum I would create a new circle of friends to hang out with.

What else can I tell you all right now. I am definitely liking the nice warm weather that we are getting here in Phoenix. This desert climate is a nice change from the cold winters of Sweden. I am working on lining up some dates for this weekend or perhaps even sooner if I can convince a girl to come over to my place for a home cooked meal and a movie.